The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you’re special too
—Ernest Hemmingway (via spokenwords-for-brokensouls)
—Ernest Hemmingway (via spokenwords-for-brokensouls)
Ok so me and my boyfriend (would have been together 6 years in march 2014) broke up 2 weeks ago. Im still heartbroken, i feel lost and i miss him dearly. Its hard when you are still in love with your ex… but without going into too much personal detail i wanted to do a post on how I’m trying to deal with my many emotions and thoughts. So please bear with me as I try and make sense. I’m in no way shape or form a professional on this matter I just wanted to share some things that seem to be working for me and how to keep it together.
1. Don’t be alone in your sorrow, you need to speak to someone close. I am very lucky that my family were and continue to be very understanding. If I need to cry, yell, feel sorry for myself etc, they will let me and be there for me. Also pets are great companions through hard times. They sense your sadness and will give you cuddles…. well my two cats did that for me and they still do :)
2. If you can take some time off work. If you are anything like me i didn’t stop crying for 4 days straight, I wasnt sleeping, lost my appetite, felt nauseous and just didn’ want to be around people that don’t know me. My work was very good and let me have time off, which i was grateful for, by the time i got back to work (which was 5 days after the breakup) I was able to keep my emotions under wrap.
3. Let it out, as i said earlier I cried, yelled, felt hopeless, was confused and shattered. You’ll find that for the first few days everything just comes out without you even meaning it to. As time goes on your family and friends around you want you to move on. So instead of bombarding them with everything I write in my diary every night anything i need to get out and have a teary if need be. I still get upset in front of my family but its not as severe as it was the first week. Mind you I still cry myself to sleep.
4. Keep yourself busy. All i wanted to do was be in bed and cry all day. My mum and dad wouldn’t let me do that, they would tell me to get up and kept me busy. Wether i was doing housework, baking treats, helping with tea and they took me for many drives to get coffee etc. Ive watched so many movies it’s ridiculous, my family members also had to come up with ideas on what to do as I just don’t seem to care at the moment and i’m not really interested in anything, which is a normal response to a breakup.
5. Start to realise what exactly you have lost. As i realised it wasn’t just my boyfriend who i loved dearly that i lost, but he was also my best friend. His family that treated me like a daughter. Our future together is gone as we both thought we’d get married. Also plans, like we use to always do certain things together especially around christmas and you’ll think of the little things that you never realised meant so much.
6. This one many of you may find interesting, instead of eating your feelings, buy them. I found that I’ve felt sick and actually was sick, so i couldn’t be like the girls in movies and eat bucket loads of chocolate and ice-cream. Mind you its not really the best way to deal with your emotions, especially if your like me and trying to be healthy and get in shape. So because I was saving for dare i say it… a wedding and a house. I now have money that too me just reminds me of saddness and what i thought was coming but isn’t just yet… if ever. So i went shopping with my mum. I bought a christmas pandora bracelet and some charms which wasn’t exactly cheap but i have been so good with my savings i thought damn it, I’m going to treat myself. So if you can (without going to crazy and still being wise with your money) buy a few special things for yourself instead of diving into food.
7. It’s time to learn to do things by yourself. If you were like me and always did things with your ex (I’m talking small things, petrol, eating out, movies, shopping, gym etc) you’ll end up finding that you have to do it by yourself. Im still very clingy with my family and they come with me for little jobs even just going to the supermarket as i actually have a fear of being alone. But even i have started to venture out and its not so bad, I think its going to take me a little while longer though.
8. Start making plans for the year ahead. This one for me is still a working progress as i don’t have any clue what to do next year. I’m still struggling with this one but i guess trying to deal with it is a step in the right direction, as plans have changed so i need new plans.
9. Stop dwelling on the what if’s, maybe i should have, if only. This actually makes you worse. I have to believe everything happens for a reason, even though it sucks being in this position and i wouldn’t wish it on anyone. If you find yourself feeling like this or thinking this way thats ok if its still early days, but you need to stop yourself and if you cant go and talk to someone.
10. For me everyone around me seems to be getting engaged, married, buying a house or having babies. Everything that i thought was coming to me in the near future. Deal with this… its not going away. Yes i still get upset when i hear these things but it also makes me happy for them and i would never be so selfish as to take someone elses happiness away from them. Keep it together, i no it’s really hard and i’m not perfect.
11. Please make sure that you look after yourself. I know you wont feel like keeping up with your beauty routine as i didn’t for a few days… but it does make you feel better. Wash and care for your hair, lather yourself in body wash and moisturise your body etc, pamper yourself even more than you use too… it does help. Try and work out if you can even just walking is good, eat good healthy meals and treat yourself at dessert, this is when i would have an ice-cream or some chocolate (just don’t go to crazy).
So these are things that i’ve found to be helpful, i’m still doing all these things believe it or not but i’m trying my best to move forward. Yes you will find that you just all of a sudden burst into tears (i did that last night)… People will ask you how your significant other is as they haven’t heard use aren’t together anymore (its not there fault don’t take it out on them)… Nothing will be the same anymore and you may not want to do things use found enjoyable together…
It’s not easy i’m still struggling but with the help of God, my family and a few friends everything will be ok. Life does go on… Most importantly I wish my ex and his family the best for the future, I hope he finds happiness and that we can maybe in the future remain friends. I have no hard feelings towards him which may make this breakup so hard as i still love him… but whats that saying if you love something/someone enough you must learn to let them go.
I hope this made sense and wasn’t me just babbling… if i can help any of you who may be going through a breakup please let me no ill cry with you!!
Just wanted to show off my hair as my brother is an apprentice hairdresser. He washed my hair, gave me a little trim, then gave me a blow wave. When i got home i took a quick picture in the bathroom and thought he did such a good job. Not many people can manage my hair. So kudos to you little brother :)
Purminerals 4-in-1 Pressed mineral makeup is such a good all round makeup. It is a foundation, concealer, powder and sunscreen (broad spectrum SPF 15+) all in one. Not only is it paraben-free and gluten-free its also vegan friendly!!
Its completely natural and so good for your skin, great for any age and skin type. My acne has cleared up heaps with this makeup, it lets your skin breathe and helps with skin health. Its also not like other mineral makeup as its not loose makeup, its pressed makeup which helps with less mess, and less wastage of the product.
I really recommend this for everyone, but especially young girls just starting out with makeup. It wont clog your pores or give you any allergies. Unlike other makeup brands that claim to have mineral makeup this really is made from natural minerals and all the good stuff. Yes its not cheap but it is very beneficial for your skin and can last for 3-6 months depending how much you use and how often.
Yehp how darn cute is this…. I cant actually believe it worked for me YAY!
So i made this hilariously cute cake for my boyfriends 24th birthday as we have started a new tradition of baking each other a birthday cake each year. So I decided on this monkey face cake… its actually easier than it looks, the decoration is just a bit fiddley but not to difficult. This cake is perfect for anyone as was told by my Boyfriend and many others that it was a very delicious cake. Its just a butter flavoured cake mix for the cake. Nutella smothered in the middle of the cake and on the outside, which holds the coco pops in place. Choc chip cookies shoved in the side of the monkeys head. Two mini bite size Oreos as the eyes and then chocolate icing for the mouth and nose. You don’t have to follow the same ingredients I used, get creative thats what i did!
Easy peasy, if i can do this anyone can! Its really fun, if you have kids they would have so much fun making this… if you need advice just ask :)
When my hair started falling out and i only had the one patch at the back of my head near my neck. I decided to invest in clip in hair extensions. Now this might seem like a strange thing to do when your hair is falling out but at that time the hair on the top of my head wasn’t falling out. So i got real human hair clip in extensions which were Raquel Welsh’s brand and they served me well (the ones I have came in a pack of 8 individual clip in hair pieces different widths and all are 10inches in length). I used them so much until my hair couldn’t keep them in anymore and my alopecia took over.
I still use them even today if i want more volume or length. I highly recommened these for anyone looking for length or volume. They are fun and you can straighten and curl the human hair extensions, which gives you so many options with hairstyles.
The first picture is me without any hair extensions. Second picture is adding the extensions in and the last two pictures is all the hair extensions with my hair. You can see how it adds so much volume and length (depending how long your hair is of course, the hair extensions are pretty much the same length as my hair right now).
When my hair was growing back and i didn’t have patches, I decided to go to the hairdressers and get hair extensions (they were the ones that hairdressers glue into your hair). It helped me transition from wearing wigs to having my real hair with extensions, If that makes sense. I hated my short hair, i felt as though i was ugly and looked like a boy. I absolutely loved the extensions and took such good care of my hair which fueled my passion for hair care and growing my hair. (sorry i don’t have a very good picture with the Hair extensions i got put in from the hairdressers as it was some time ago).
Hey to my gorjus followers i cant believe that i even have followers but enough of that. Just wanted to say thanks so much for making me feel appreciated! I’m also just letting you know that if you need to talk or ask me a question about anything I’m more than happy to just listen or give you advice.
I also wanted to apologise for not posting much lately I’ve actually been really sick but I’m on the road to recovery, so ill be able to get back to the routine of posting!
I’m hoping you all have a really good day
Lots of love from me
This year I decided to get a clip in fringe (bangs for you americans) as I didn’t want to get my hair cut. Its the Hairdo brand by Jessica Simpson and Ken Paves. There pieces are so fun and creative they also do wigs too which if I ever need to, I’ll get some of them to try. If your ever looking for fun add in hair pieces definantely check out the Hairdo range they have good colours and it’s good quality. Also very easy to put in and take out.
I also ended up getting the plait headband (which is also from the Hairdo range) i thought it was really cute and a different take on a regular headband. Doesn’t press into your head which i like as i often get headaches from headbands. These products don’t slip out of your hair they actually stay put, so i highly recommend them!
This is a product from Skinn by Dimitri james. I absolutely love the Skinn range i use quite a few of his products but this one has to be one of my favourites. This makes a great gift to give your mum, sister, grandma or girlfriends. Its a wrinkle soak age-defying hydrating mask with watermelon extract, the scent is to die for so yummy. It actually makes you want to relax the texture is so soft and creamy and just glides on really nicely to your skin. I smoothed it over my skin and left it on for about 15-20 minutes before rinsing it off with cold water. My skin has never been so soft it ends up feeling like velvet and i didn’t break out in a rash or acne BONUS!! Big 10/10 you must try it you wont regret it.